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about time

head above water.

*blink* smile *blink*
finally slept well (thanks benadryl). woke up smiling. trying to game the length of time i’m supposed to allow myself to mourn, to honor what I’m being forced to walk away from, is such a thorny question. time to deal with other things.
to go to grad school or not? what to study if I do? surely I should have an answer by now. but after majoring (in order) in History, Creative Writing, TV & Movie Writing, and finally getting my degree in Information Technology:Cybersecurity – well. I don’t have a fucking clue. I think I might like to work for social change somewhere, but I have no idea how to do this.
move to NYC? chase that old dream? but will I end up working a job a hate so I can have the right to wander streets that made me feel alive at 22?
or be near formative people?
stay in Louisiana? keep working at a job I’ve mastered which gives me the leeway to travel the world a couple times a year? buy a little house, keep a cat and garden?
i. don’t. fucking. know.
but my head is above water today and I’m smiling.

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