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about time

lust. in the marriage bed.

seventeen plus years ago I moved to NYC. with a North American nothing: $200, 3 weeks of clothes, and 1 friend. I slept on benches, squatted with strangers, sold my body, did drugs, went dancing, and met some people who are still with me today. I did eventually make NYC work, if in a roundabout, discombobulated sort of manner. I worked. A lot. I got paid. A lot. And I built a second life for myself. A secret me, steeped in the pleasant muck of the burgeoning Internet and hiding from the light on the horizon.
I loved NYC. Still do. But anyone who knows me well understands how I love. It doesn’t really die.
When I moved there I had a portable CD player, and two CDs. One of which was To Venus and Back. I played the song “Lust” over and over again, letting the staccato of the drums over Tori’s soft soprano merge with the sensations of movement around me. Two things which on the surface, the song and the place, had no relation. Yet somehow, I found something in them. A resonance. NYC became that some for me. It was my own ghost-lie, my own whispered reality. And I waited.
Seventeen years and a lot has changed. But not that.
NYC, I am coming back to you.
Soul-trading, as it were.
From one love to another.

We’ll see how brave you are. 🙂

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